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[04 Oct 2010|09:05pm]
My great aunt Lucille passed away last week. She was the last sibling left of my grandmother that died a few years ago. When Lucille passed, it made me realize that the last piece of my Grammy is gone...she was like a living piece of her that I could talk to and see images of my Grammy, the greatest woman to ever live. It also made me realize that the age of the grandparent that I know is gone. The grandchildren these days are not sitting on their grandparents porch, snapping beans that they just picked out of the garden. They are not running through the corn fields, laughing and creating games. Unfortunately, most kids are parked in front of the television playing video games.

As I was driving the Kentucky countryside to the burial, I noticed something odd. All of the cars passing by pulled to the side of the road as the funeral procession passed. Those that were at their homes took their hats off of their heads and placed them over their hearts. It was awe inspiring. I felt a great sense of thankfulness. That is not something that you can find in the city.

My memories of aunt Lucille are cherished. I played in the woods by her home with my older cousins. There was an old refridgerator in the woods that Daisy and I would play house with...we used pine cones and pine needles because they seemed to be the only other thing to play with. Grammy or my mom would yell into the woods and we would run back to eat fried chicken, mashed potatoes and all of the other home cooking that is delicious. She didn't have running water but it didn't seem to odd to me to go to an outhouse. We walked to get water from a stream in the woods. They were so poor. They had nothing. Yet, they never complained. I feel rich with memories and I'm so thankful for that.

I'm not sure the point of this post. I was hoping for something a little more coherent but, oh well. I'll forever be grateful for my memories and the wonderful family that I am bless to know.
Comments: all over me

[29 Jul 2010|10:17pm]
In the most basic terms, I feel sad and confused. I do not enjoy this state of being. I feel as if I have gone back in time...on year... I'm still sitting on my couch crying... And drinking a sweet tea.
Comments: all over me

[23 Feb 2010|11:40pm]
Slowly letting him go... The images in my mind of the times we shared are beginning to fade... Except for a few moments that are burned in there like the trance you get from a campfire flame...

I have to let go...in order to be sane.

I truly loved him. I am glad that it is possible.
Comments: all over me

[14 Feb 2010|10:46pm]
i am giving up...
goodnight, tonight, goodbye.
Comments: all over me

NV [11 Feb 2010|09:46am]
You are a thunderous thing, wonderous king
The face of rival-less gods, deep in your thoughts
Come here,oh, closer to touch, never enough
Let me climb under your skin, oh, let me in
Comments: all over me

[04 Feb 2010|10:09pm]
I want to go see Dear John and cry a lot...
Comments: all over me

[03 Feb 2010|09:56pm]
I'm holding on to something that never was... I cannot make myself let go.
Comments: all over me

[04 Jan 2010|10:33pm]
It is so hard to love someone so much...especially when they do not love you in return.
Comments: 1boyscout x all over me

[26 Nov 2009|11:51am]
Happy Thanksgiving.
Comments: all over me

[22 Oct 2009|04:19pm]
I have made so many wrong decisions lately. But, it is too late.
It is time to start over.
"And I still miss someone."
Comments: all over me

[12 Oct 2009|09:01pm]
This is so dumb.
Comments: all over me

So long, ANV. Farewell. [03 Oct 2009|10:25am]
[ mood | working ]

You've made me into someone who should not hold a loaded gun
And now you sit upon my chest
Knock out my wind, knock out my best

And so long to no disasters, and mornings too
And so long to ever afters, so long to you

I am soft for only you
Impale me with your tongue it's true
And slices of me piled sky high
The same old me to the naked eye
But I can't find myself tonight

And so long to no disasters, and mornings too
And so long to ever afters, so long to you

Comments: all over me

anv [17 Sep 2009|08:00pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Baby, you've got the sort of hands to rip me apart
And baby, you've got the sort of face to start this old heart
But your eyes are warning me this early morning
That my love's too big for you my love


Baby, you've got the sort of laugh that waters me
And makes me grow tall and strong and proud and flattens me
I find you stunning, but you are running me down
My love's too big for you my love
My love's too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Baby, you've got the sort of eyes that tell me tales
That your sort of mouth just will not say, the truth impales
That you don't need me, but you won't leave me
My loves too big for you my love
My loves too big for you my love

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Tell me what to do, to take away the you

And if I was stronger then I would tell you no.
And if I was stronger then I will leave this show
And if I was stronger then I would up and go
But here I am and here we go again

Comments: all over me

[01 Sep 2009|02:44pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I wish I didn't believe in signs. Because, they are everywhere that I turn...

Comments: all over me

[30 Jul 2009|09:00am]
I thought that I was figuring it all out.  I thought that I had an epiphany. 
I was wrong.  I don't know what the hell I am doing. 
Comments: all over me

[27 Jul 2009|10:55pm]
I just spent an incredible evening under the starts at the Falls of the Ohio.  I saw a racoon, various bugs and John Belski.  I had wonderful conversation and got sand in my shoes.  I wore a blister on my toes but didn't realize it until now.  I'm glad I accepted the invite and didn't just lay on the couch tonight.
Comments: 3boyscouts x all over me

[04 Apr 2009|01:07pm]
I found a mole in my belly button.  I had to have it cut out today.  Right after I found out my grandpa has had a heart attack, coming home from a cruise in the bahamas.  
I want to go back to sleep and pretend this was all a dream.
Comments: all over me

[31 Mar 2009|10:31am]
so, i may have bought a new car....
Comments: 5boyscouts x all over me

[27 Mar 2009|07:05pm]
these rough economic times call for a raise?

lately, i've had to make so many grown up decisions that i think i'm spent for the rest of the year.  and it's only march.  as you know, i took a job at st. joe's.  well, now, since talking to several superiors at work, they have offered me another job within the agency of seven counties.  i was told by the big wig that i would not be able to keep my 10% shift differential for working second shift.  in my mind, after being told this, i said, "well, then i'm not going to take it." but, i told him i would think it over.  then, i spoke with the supervisor from the program that they offered me a position and he said that he could let me keep the shift differential and possibly add more money.  he said i got the shaft on my salary....go figure. 
so, now, i have to make a decision.  do i want to stay within seven counties, where i know what the people but it will be a change?  or do i move on to something different where it is less familiar...
decisions, decisions...
i don't want to go or stay for the wrong reasons. 
all i know is...everyone keeps talking mad trash about st. joes.  is it an effort to keep me?  or is it real?
 
being a grown up is tough.
Comments: 1boyscout x all over me

[25 Mar 2009|10:01pm]
my whole life, my mom has told me that once you get older, your days start to fly by. 
i realize, now, how right she was....or, always is...

my weeks are giant blurs now.  i don't know how to hold on to each moment.  much like when i want to scarf down a delicious dessert.
Comments: all over me

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